PTSD and DEPRESSION OH MY!

I feel lost. Not wanting to live again. Depression. That voice that says I'm not worth anything and no one cares. I have an interesting life, but a depressing one. Why do I get through these things that hurt and suffer from an outcome I never caused? How come these dreams attack in the night? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Is my life based off of things people that sit in chairs and diagnose me with these "mental problems"? Yes. Why? People treat me like I am a psycho that is about to burst. Have I ever shot a gun? No. So why do people think I need meds to cure my life? Easy, it males other people feel safe when I am on meds. Have I taken any lately? Just to get people off my back. People push for you to be perfect and feel happy all the time, but how is it possible when people make me feel worse by telling me I have mental problems? I know I have PTSD and I show my emotions by crying a lot, but is that really that bad? I need to feel my emotions otherwise I bottle them up and explode. That is what I try to prevent but others tell me to stop crying. I need to fucking cry when I think about certain things. I guess it is time to turn on the Notebook and give a second reason to cry my night away. My life got messy and it is still rushed.